Hosting Easy

Hosting a party that you’d like to be invited to — Part 4

Don’t you wish you had been more present in the party you last threw instead of worrying about taking care of the next thing. Why did you have to rush back to the kitchen just when your guest was about to tell you the high point of that anecdote.

Unless one has opted for a completely outsourced event, a host is usually seen drifting in and out of conversations and it is a real dampener for the host’s gratification index. So many parties are like a game of Chinese whispers, you hear bits of conversation and you have to make do with getting the download from your partner when the guests leave — and with the usual observation skills of most spouses, you will be found wanting to hear more. At that time you promise yourself that the next party you host, you will be more in the living room than in the kitchen or pacifying kids wanting attention of their parents.

There are a few things you can’t prepare in advance for. Then there are the heavy lifting stuff that needs obvious preplanning like what’s to be cooked, what’s to be ordered in, doing the festive or themed décor, the mixes and drinks to be readied all the way down to the shoving of the zillionth toy into that once empty shelf so the house passes as civilized dwelling. Maybe the last task wasn’t meant for you, but you get the drift.

The pre-prep I am talking about are the many tiny tasks that don’t take much time, but require you to make frequent exits in the middle of conversations. This is about the things that we don’t usually do before a get together because they don’t seem to be big enough chores to require them to be taken care of beforehand. Still, if done prior to the guests arriving, these tiny tasks can help you relax with your company by reducing the times and the duration of you being away from the middle of the party.

1. Plan out entertainment. For your grown up friends it’s easy; keep the props handy for the party games or if it’s a no prop one then just keep a ready list in your mind (see ideas on no prop games here).

Kids are different; you do not want to raise the wrath of bored kids — be prepared to set aside a zone for 3+ years kids if you want to have a good uninterrupted time with your friends who have kids. Keep a room free where kids can be left unsupervised with a movie playing on tv or tab and some board games laid out or lego/blocks set up at different tables. Kids don’t like to be told to do anything — even to play! They like when we give them the power to choose for themselves. If you have prepared entertainment for them and they enter a room with choices already laid out, you decrease the probability of them running back to the parents with the refrain ‘When will we go home???’. Do remember, they are kids, so remove breakables from easy reach or souvenirs you care about too much from that room. You can always show them some age-appropriate books if they like to read.

For toddlers, just lay out a mat or blanket in the living room with few unbreakable plastic spoons and lids if you don’t have baby safe toys — they are easiest entertained where they can see their parents but get to totter and roll around with things that make noise safely — hence choose plastic or fabric and not metal.

2. Serving platter assignment — No one usually does this beforehand coz we all are pros at improvisation. However, if Marie Kondo has been your sage of choice these past years, it’s highly likely you don’t have a cabinet full of endless supply of dishes and bowls (and spark joy to that!). It will help you save more than a few minutes if you choose the serve ware to go with every main beforehand, better still, keep the serving spoon handy with the respective dish to reduce decision making by a tiny amount later. Only then choose the serve ware for starters or munchies like nuts, chips, etc. This is also useful for avoiding infrared glares from your partner when you bring out starters in the bowl that they had reserved for mains.

3. Pre serve the munchies. If you take out starters too early then it may be a long gap for the main course. Hence its best to pace out each course or even each dish if it is a more informal affair. However, to bridge the transition, you should always have something to munch on — a bowl of chips or mixed nuts on the coffee table before the guests arrive. For other starters, if they do not need immediate prep or heating, you should plate (or bowl) them and keep it ready in the kitchen to be taken out when at least a third of your guests have arrived. This pre work saves on valuable time with your friends as it is in the beginning when guests are fewer that you can do real catching up one-on-one.

Do try and set out kid friendly munchies in unbreakable bowls at a separate table. They get hungry often and it’s in your selfish interest to let them be away from grown up ear shots.

4. Ready the garnish — People do keep the mixers and liqueurs ready. Wouldn’t it be nice if you also had some lime and orange wedges, mint sprigs, lemon grass pre-cut on a plate so you or your guests can just pop it in their drink during the party.

Bonus tips: Take out wine glass charms and park them at the coffee table or bar. You don’t need to do three loads of dishwasher when one suffices. Have coasters handy too if you’d rather avoid cleaning the wine rings on your furniture next day.

5. Play the music — Don’t wait for guests to arrive. To avoid awkward silences and unwarranted overhearing of next room conversations make sure there is always some soft background music in the party. Choose a playlist that fits the mood of your party, connect it to a speaker and start playing it beforehand. Do check out part 2 of the hosting easy series on this.

6. Send out directions — Send out google location of the entry point of the house or apartment, not your current location (which may lead to a back alley for all google map cares). Do text clear instructions for accessing your home and parking to your guests. It’s courteous to not let them struggle at the start of the evening.

7. Light the candles — Jo Malone or our very own sugandhco have been making candles for this very occasion of yours. Aromas and mood lighting of candles helps to relax and unwind so go ahead and light one as the last prep before your friends start ringing the doorbell. However, if you expect kids then rethink on subbing it with LED ones or place them away from curious toddlers and tornadoing tweens.

Mindfulness has become an overused cliché — but it is indeed the tool for better living. We can all gain by being more in the moment. To really live a moment, you have to give your mind less choices to wander around. “Are my guests hungry?”, “Are they enjoying themselves?”, “Do I have enough dishes?”, “How will he find the parking?” Go through what worries you in a party and try and address it through preplanning. Make that effort so when you are in the company of people you like, your mind can focus on enjoying that conversation with that zen smile on your face.

#hostingeasy #partyplanning #KidsEntertainment #prepforparty #mindfulness